Thursday, December 29, 2005

Smart Little Girl !

One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in a classroom.
The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children.

The teacher asked a little boy:
TEACHER: Tommy do you see the tree outside?
TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?
TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.
TOMMY: Okay. (He returned a few minutes later) Yes, I saw the sky.
TEACHER: Did you see God?
TEACHER: That's my point. We can't see God because he isn't there. He doesn't exist.
A little girl spoke up and wanted to ask the boy some questions.
The teacher agreed and the little girl asked the boy:
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the tree outside?
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yessssss (getting tired of the same questions by this time).
LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?
TOMMY: Yessssss
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the teacher?
LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?
LITTLE GIRL: Then according to what we were taught today in school, she must not have one!

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Are BPOs safe for women?

Pratibha Srikanth Murthy, an employee of the business process outsourcing arm of Hewlett Packard in Bangalore, was raped and murdered by the driver of the company-commissioned cab she was travelling in on her way to work in the wee hours of Tuesday.

This has sent shivers down the spine of BPO workers and the Indian IT industry.

Women account for about 40 per cent of the 350,000 call centres employees in India. IT sector bodies, politicians and the police have now urged companies to offer better security to BPO workers.

I dont think that women employees in call centres are given adequate security. Ther must be some better ways to ensure better safety of BPO workers.

Should women work night shifts? Or the Bangalore murder is just a one-off incident of crime?
Do comment.
Remember together we can and we will make a difference.

Essay On A Poor Family

Once in a kintergarden, a teacher asks all students to write an essay
on the topic " A Poor Family".One student gets the lowest marks for
writing that essay . The student happens to be the richest girl in the
entire class and her essay goes on as.......
she writes:

Ek baar ek bahut hee gareeb family thi, husband aur wife dono gareeb

they, do bachey they, woh bhi bahut gareeb they!!

ghar ke saare naukar bhi gareeb they,

ghar ka maali, driver, aur guard bhi bahut gareeb they, ghar ke 4
kuttey bhi gareeb they, 2 din sey chicken nahi khaaya tha,

3 mercedeez car thi, unki bahut time se servicing nahi hui thi, ghar

ka A.C bhi theek nahi chalta tha ghar mein 1 saal sey paint nahi hua

tha family ko holiday ke liye foregin country gaye bhi 6 mahiney ho

gaye they,ghar ke 5 mein sey 2 TV to chaltey hee nahi they, all in
all, bahut he gareeb family thi!!

Monday, December 19, 2005

This was a Real incident in New York....

An Indian walks into a New York City bank and asks
to see the loan officer.
He says he is going to Europe on business for two
weeks and Needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer
says the bank will need some kind of security for
such a loan, so the man hands over the keys of a new
Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the
bank. Everything is checked out, and the bank agrees
to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An
employee drives the Rolls into the bank's
underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $5,000
and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan
officer says, "We are very happy to have had your
business, and this transaction has worked out very
nicely, but we are little puzzled. While you were
away, we checked you out and found that u are a
multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you
bother to borrow just $5,000?"

The Indian replied,"Where else in New York can I
park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks?"

"Indians don't do different things but they do
things differently."

Saturday, December 17, 2005

This is how a business is done... !

Get to know, how big business deals are made.............

Jack, a smart businessman, talks to his son

Jack: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : "I will choose my own bride".
Jack: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case..."

Next Jack approaches Bill Gates

Jack: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates : "But my daughter is too young to marry."
Jack: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates : "Ah, in that case..."

Finally Jack goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Jack: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President : "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need."
Jack: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President : "Ah, in that case....."

This is how business is done!!

Friday, December 16, 2005


1] If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on your right side. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on your left side

[2] If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. For when a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.

[3] Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

[4] Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is a thin film of bacteria on it.

[5] The Mercedes-Benz motto is 'Das Beste oder Nichts' meaning 'the best or nothing'.

[6] The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal.

[7] The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing.

[8] The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.

[9] Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day.

Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.

[10] Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "It takes a strong man to make a tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate."

[11] Dalmatians are born without spots.

[12] Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

[13] The 'v' in the name of a court case does not stand for 'versus', but for 'and' (in civil proceedings] or 'against' (in criminal proceedings]

[14] Men's shirts have the buttons on the right, but women's shirts have the buttons on the left

[15] The owl is the only bird to drop its upper eyelid to wink. All other birds raise their lower eyelids

[16] The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it's already been digested by a bee

[17] Roosters cannot crow if they cannot extend their necks

[18] The color blue has a calming effect. It causes the brain to release calming hormones

[19] Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die

[20] Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart

[21] The verb "cleave" is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate

[22] When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red

[23] When Hippos are upset, their sweat turns red

[24] The first Harley Davidson motorcycle was built in 1903, and used a tomato can for a carburetor

[25] The lion that roars in the MGM logo is named Volney

[26] Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros

[27] Switching letters is called spoonerism. For example, saying jag of Flapan, instead of flag of Japan

[28] It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it

[29] The attachment of the human skin to muscles is what causes dimples

[30] There are 1,792 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower

[31] The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting

[32] Human hair and fingernails continue to grow after death

[33] It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body

[34] The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets

[35] Most soccer players run 7 miles in a game

[36] The only part of the body that has no blood supply is the cornea in the eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air

[37] Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die

[38] In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is

10:10 because then the arms frame the brand of the watch (and make it look like it is smiling.)

[39] Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries. Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself."

[40] The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its
head are the rabbit and the parrot

[41] Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

[42] The average person laughs 13 times a day

[43] Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are: Mizaru(See no evil), Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and Mazaru(Speak no evil)

[44] Women blink nearly twice as much as men

[45] German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog

[46] Large kangaroos cover more than 30 feet with each jump

[47] Whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound

[48] Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two
thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death

[49] If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural cause.

[50] The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirt blood 30 feet!!

Thursday, December 15, 2005


An article from Gopalakrishnan - Chairman Tata sons

The grass isn't always greener on the other side!!
Move from one job to
another, but only for the right reasons. It's yet
another day at office. As
I logged on to the marketing and advertising sites for
the latest updates,
as usual, I found the headlines dominated by
'who's' moving from one
company to another after a short stint', and I
wondered, why are so many
people leaving one job for another? Is it passé now
to work with just one
company for a sufficiently long period?

Whenever I ask this question to people who leave a
company, the answers I
get are: "Oh, I am getting a 200% hike in salary";
"Well I am jumping three
levels in my designation"; "Well they are going to
send me abroad in six

Then, I look around at all the people who are
considered successful today
and who have reached the top - be it a media agency,
an advertising agency
or a company. I find that most of these people are
the ones who stuck to
the company, ground their heels and worked their way
to the top. And, as I
look around for people who change their jobs
constantly, I find they have
stagnated at some level, in obscurity.

In this absolute ruthless, dynamic and competitive
environment, there are
still no - short cuts to success or to making money.
The only thing that
continues to pay, as earlier is loyalty and
hard work. Yes, it
pays! Sometimes, immediately, sometimes after a lot
of time. But, it does
pay. Does this mean that one should stick to an
organization and wait for
the golden moment? Of course not. After, a long
stint, there always comes
a time for moving in most organisations, but it is
important to move for
the right reasons, rather than the superficial
ones, like money,
designation or oversees trip.

Remember, no company recruits for charity. More often
than not, when you
are offered an unseemly hike in salary or
designation that is
disproportionate to what the company offers it
current employees, there is
always an unseemly bait attached. The result? You
will, in the long term
have reached the same level or may be lower levels
than what you would have
in your current company.

A lot of people leave their organisations because
they are 'unhappy'.
What is this so called unhappiness? I have been
working for donkey years
and there has never been a day when I am not unhappy
about something in my
work environment - boss, rude colleagues, fussy
clients etc.

Unhappiness in a work place, to a large extent, is
transient. If you look
hard enough, there is always something to be
unhappy about. But, more
importantly, do I come to work to be "happy" in
the truest sense? If I
think hard, the answer is "No". Happiness is
something you find with
family, friends, may be a close circle of
colleagues who have become
friends. What you come to work for is to earn, build
a reputation,satisfy
your ambitions, be appreciated for your work
ethics, face challenges and
get the job done.

So, the next time you are tempered to move on,
as yourself why are
you moving and what are you moving into?

Some questions are:

* Am I ready and capable of handling the new
responsibility? If yes, what
could be the possible reasons my current company
has not offered me the
same responsibility?

* Who are the people who currently handle this
responsibility in
the current and new company? Am I good as the best
among them?

* As the new job offer has a different profile, why
have I not given the
current company the option to offer me this profile?

* Why is the new company offering the new job? Do
they want me for my
skills, or is that ulterior motive?

An honest answer to these will eventually decide
where you go in your
career - to the top of the pile in the long term
(at the cost of short -
term blips) or to become another average employee
who gets lost with the
time in wilderness?


- Dr. Gopalakrishnan, Chairman TATA Sons.


Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your..."

Customer: "Heloo, can I order.."

Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"
Customer: "It's eh..., hold..........

Operator : "OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17
Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302
and your mobile is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"

Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"

Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."

O perator : "That's not a good idea Sir"

Customer: "How come?"

Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood
pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"

Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"

Customer: "How do you know for sure?"

Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes"
from the National Library last week Sir"

Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how
much will that cost?"

Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The
total is $49.99"

Customer: "Can I pay by! credit card?"

Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit
card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3, 720.55 since
last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your
housing loan, Sir."

Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and
withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"

Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records,you've reached your
daily limit on machine withdrawal today"

Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash
ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"

Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can
always come and collect it on your motorcycle..."

Customer: " What!"

Operator : "According to the details in system ,you own a
Scooter,...registration number 1123... "

Customer: " ????"

Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"

Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3
bottles of cola as advertised?"

Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're

diabetic....... "

Customer: #$$^%&$@$%^

Operator "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July
you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?"

Customer: [Faints]

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Some W a c k y Quotes

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a
pretty girl for an
hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S

- Albert Einstein

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working
the moment you get up in the morning and does not
stop until you get into the office.

- Robert Frost

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's
there to
appreciate it.

- Franklin P. Jones

We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain
the success of those we don't like?

- Jean Cocturan

It matters not whether you win or lose; what
matters is whether I win or lose.

- Darrin Weinberg

Life is pleasant.
Death is peaceful.
It's the transition that's troublesome.

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will
remember you when he is
in trouble again.

Complex problems have simple, easy to understand
wrong answers.

It is not exactly cheating, I prefer to consider it
creative problem solving.

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know
where to shop.

Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again,
neither does milk.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to
shoot them.

Forgive your enemies but remember their names.

The number of people watching you is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Dont worry that the world ends today, its already
tomorrow in Australia!

So, Keep Smiling!!!


The national cricket selectors on Wednesday dropped Sourav Ganguly from the Indian squad for the third Test against Sri Lanka, throwing the deposed captain's career in the longer version of the game into jeopardy. Ganguly, who was earlier not only stripped of the captaincy but was also omitted from the one-day squad for the series against Sri Lanka and South Africa, finds himself in the cold yet again with the selectors recalling Mumbai opener Wasim Jaffer in the 15-member squad which otherwise remains unchanged.